8 weeks

Officially 8 weeks today! It's exciting, knowing I'm officially more than just one month pregnant!

Not too much has changed, I'm still feeling the same symptoms with just a few more added onto them. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable in jeans, I know it's not because of a baby bump just yet, mostly bloat, but I can literally feel my uterus expanding. It's crazy! It hurts to cough, sneeze or stretch. If I do any of those things I have to hold my lower abdomen so that I can't feel the stretching/tearing feeling. It's very strange.

My first doctors appointment is two weeks from today! I'm still very nervous about it but am trying to stay positive. It's incredible how scary pregnancy can be when you truly think about it. I've always been fascinated and obsessed with pregnancy for as long as I can remember, but even reading and talking to pregnant women for as long as I have, nothing can prepare you for when you go through it yourself. I had no idea how exhausting it was. I knew that it was tiring, I mean your body is MAKING a human inside of itself, but I never thought I'd be so exhausted this early on. 2 months pregnant and I can barely keep my eyes open past 10:30pm when I used to not be able to fall asleep before midnight! I struggle to breathe after going up and down the stairs, or walking for extended periods of time. By then end of the day I have absolutely no motivation to do anything! While talking to Tim about how tiring this whole thing is, I brought up the fact that I can't imagine what it'll be like when he/she is finally here. Sleep will be minimal, I'll be breast feeding (hopefully!) which is a job on it's own, and I will be caring for another life on top of my own 24/7. It's making me reconsider going back to work in September.

Everyone tells me I have plenty of time to make that decision, and that's very true. But like my mom has been saying, you never know which is truly the right choice. If you work, you feel guilty thinking that you should be the one at home caring for your child, but if you stay home you feel guilty thinking that you should be out there making money and contributing to your family income. Luckily, I have a husband who's never held that against me and truly wants me to be a stay at home mother if that's what my heart desires. But, he's also very understanding when I talk about the need to feel like I'm helping and making a difference in our lives. He always brings up a valid point that most men I've talked to never seem to understand: "Being a mother is a full time job, and you will never get the time you miss with your child back. Even if you only work part time, babies grow quickly and they won't be babies for long, jobs will always be there."

Regardless of what happens, I know that whatever decision I make it will be the best one for us at the time. We'll see what happens in 7 or so months :)