5 weeks and 6 days. For the last week or so I've been researching a lot on breast feeding. I've always said that I will breast feed my children, and I still want to. But it's really intimidating reading the blogs of the mothers who seem like experts. I can't wait to do it and feel how magical it is, but I'm scared I won't be able to. I find myself getting scared about just about everything lately.
I have to remember to stay positive and pray for the best. God has blessed us this far, and He will continue to do so, I just have to have faith.
Currently I'm still lucky enough to be without morning sickness. I do feel nausea often but it's nothing I can't seem to get under control which is really great because I hate being sick. My boobs are literally killing me. They are so sore ALL the time. It feels like they are full of lead and are just waiting to explode. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like once I start producing milk.. dear lord.
Right now my concerns are still miscarriage, and also being prepared for parenthood. I'm trying to keep a list of things we will need to buy. And not a list of things like a crib or changing table, a list that includes things like oral medicine syringes, breast pumps, thermometers, things you wouldn't normally think about needing but that are absolute necessities. Can you see now why I'm a stress freak? Hahah
Monday, October 28, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
5 weeks
I'm officially 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant today! And so far Monday has been the only day that I've noticed a drastic change in my mood. I was so excited and happy in the morning because I was starting my new position back at Manomet Elementary school, but by the time I came home I was in a very depressed/frustrated state and had absolutely no reason for it.
On top of that, I had horrible cramping. It was like a never ending wave of period cramps, and every time I cough/sneeze it feels like a muscle is being pulled in my uterus. I know that all of this is normal because the uterus is a muscle and it is currently expanding to make room, and I also had spoken to a nurse at my doctors office. She said the only thing I need to look out for is heavy/clotting bleeding while severe cramping. Spotting is normal I guess too, which I'm glad she told me because I would have a heart attack if I ever saw one drop of blood.
Currently my concerns are just miscarriage and any future morning sickness. It's crazy that my first appointment is still over a month away :( I can't wait for it to be time to hear/see the baby. It's really nerve-wracking to sit here for 8-10 weeks just praying that the baby is still doing well in your body but having no idea or control over it at all. I'm just trying to stay positive and keep my mind off all the bad things that can happen.
I'm honestly afraid to tell the rest of my family. I don't plan to do it until 12 weeks but when I was visiting with them the other day I realized how judgmental they all actually are, and I just KNOW what they're going to say. "It was an accident wasn't it?" or "You really should have waited until you get your own house." But we discussed everything and even after talking to my grandmother (she's the only one outside of my immediate family that knows we were TTC) I realized that it doesn't matter. I had this idea in my head that we have to do things the "right" way. Marriage, baby, house. We have a roof over our heads and even though it may not be our name on the home loan or our own apartment, things have gotten a LOT better since last year. There's only 4 of us living here now instead of 8 and it's two couples. They may not be the cleanest people in the world but it is nowhere near as bad as it was 6 months ago. Everyone is pulling their weight for the most part and I'm a lot happier living here now. We've been working with a few different loan advisers and each one has told us that come January there's not reason why we shouldn't get pre-approved and then approved in April for a home loan. That's months before the baby arrives, and even if we don't find our dream home right away, we have a room right next to ours that is going to be the nursery. We didn't feel like waiting any longer for such stupid reasons.
This is the BEST time for us financially to have a baby. And we want two children, two years apart, and both of them to be here before we're 30. I always dreamed of having my first before I was 26 and trying now was just the perfect time for us. Honestly, I don't know why I care what they think. We're happy, I'm happy and we'll be even happier when we have our very first child here with us. Just because my living situation isn't ideal, doesn't mean it's horrid or that we're irresponsible. If anyone knows me they know that I weigh the pros and cons to EVERY single decision that I make, and that I always try to make the best and smartest decision. This was our decision and I will never, ever regret it.
Anyway, after that long tangent, tonight we plan to take our first weekly picture. I bought a small chalkboard in a frame from Walmart and am going to use that in the picture to show how far along I am. I'm still debating on whether or not to try to wear the same outfit in each picture, we'll see!
On top of that, I had horrible cramping. It was like a never ending wave of period cramps, and every time I cough/sneeze it feels like a muscle is being pulled in my uterus. I know that all of this is normal because the uterus is a muscle and it is currently expanding to make room, and I also had spoken to a nurse at my doctors office. She said the only thing I need to look out for is heavy/clotting bleeding while severe cramping. Spotting is normal I guess too, which I'm glad she told me because I would have a heart attack if I ever saw one drop of blood.
Currently my concerns are just miscarriage and any future morning sickness. It's crazy that my first appointment is still over a month away :( I can't wait for it to be time to hear/see the baby. It's really nerve-wracking to sit here for 8-10 weeks just praying that the baby is still doing well in your body but having no idea or control over it at all. I'm just trying to stay positive and keep my mind off all the bad things that can happen.
I'm honestly afraid to tell the rest of my family. I don't plan to do it until 12 weeks but when I was visiting with them the other day I realized how judgmental they all actually are, and I just KNOW what they're going to say. "It was an accident wasn't it?" or "You really should have waited until you get your own house." But we discussed everything and even after talking to my grandmother (she's the only one outside of my immediate family that knows we were TTC) I realized that it doesn't matter. I had this idea in my head that we have to do things the "right" way. Marriage, baby, house. We have a roof over our heads and even though it may not be our name on the home loan or our own apartment, things have gotten a LOT better since last year. There's only 4 of us living here now instead of 8 and it's two couples. They may not be the cleanest people in the world but it is nowhere near as bad as it was 6 months ago. Everyone is pulling their weight for the most part and I'm a lot happier living here now. We've been working with a few different loan advisers and each one has told us that come January there's not reason why we shouldn't get pre-approved and then approved in April for a home loan. That's months before the baby arrives, and even if we don't find our dream home right away, we have a room right next to ours that is going to be the nursery. We didn't feel like waiting any longer for such stupid reasons.
This is the BEST time for us financially to have a baby. And we want two children, two years apart, and both of them to be here before we're 30. I always dreamed of having my first before I was 26 and trying now was just the perfect time for us. Honestly, I don't know why I care what they think. We're happy, I'm happy and we'll be even happier when we have our very first child here with us. Just because my living situation isn't ideal, doesn't mean it's horrid or that we're irresponsible. If anyone knows me they know that I weigh the pros and cons to EVERY single decision that I make, and that I always try to make the best and smartest decision. This was our decision and I will never, ever regret it.
Anyway, after that long tangent, tonight we plan to take our first weekly picture. I bought a small chalkboard in a frame from Walmart and am going to use that in the picture to show how far along I am. I'm still debating on whether or not to try to wear the same outfit in each picture, we'll see!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Impatient!
Today I found myself thinking nonstop about this pregnancy and the future. I am so excited, but so deathly afraid at the same time. Will I be a good mother? Us good parents?
Will we know what to expect and/or what to do when the baby comes or if the baby is sick? A million thoughts like these are constantly running through my mind and not knowing the answers scares me. But, most women including my mother have all said that instincts will take over and that's a little relieving to hear.
Right now I find myself dreaming of all the cute things that come along with pregnancy. Maternity clothes, maternity pictures, the weekly baby belly photos, and of course baby names.
Speaking of baby names, that brings me to a very important point. Tim and I do not want to know the sex of our baby until the day he or she comes into the world. We love the idea of being surprised and having the doctor say "It's a ___!" at the most perfect moment. This has been something we've both always wanted and have talked about since before we even got married. Everyone thinks we're crazy to not want to know because it makes everything "easier" when you do. I see the point they're trying to make, but that's just not the way we want to do it.
I think the hardest thing about pregnancy for me so far is knowing what I can/can't eat and what I can/can't do. It sucks, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so I'm following the guidelines to a tee. My only symptoms are cramping, still just being very tired at the end of the day and having sore breasts. I've heard that morning sickness for a lot of women happens between the 5th and 6th week, so we'll see what happens shortly. I've been very fortunate so far in that aspect of things.
Fingers crossed for a happy and healthy 9 months!
Will we know what to expect and/or what to do when the baby comes or if the baby is sick? A million thoughts like these are constantly running through my mind and not knowing the answers scares me. But, most women including my mother have all said that instincts will take over and that's a little relieving to hear.
Right now I find myself dreaming of all the cute things that come along with pregnancy. Maternity clothes, maternity pictures, the weekly baby belly photos, and of course baby names.
Speaking of baby names, that brings me to a very important point. Tim and I do not want to know the sex of our baby until the day he or she comes into the world. We love the idea of being surprised and having the doctor say "It's a ___!" at the most perfect moment. This has been something we've both always wanted and have talked about since before we even got married. Everyone thinks we're crazy to not want to know because it makes everything "easier" when you do. I see the point they're trying to make, but that's just not the way we want to do it.
I think the hardest thing about pregnancy for me so far is knowing what I can/can't eat and what I can/can't do. It sucks, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so I'm following the guidelines to a tee. My only symptoms are cramping, still just being very tired at the end of the day and having sore breasts. I've heard that morning sickness for a lot of women happens between the 5th and 6th week, so we'll see what happens shortly. I've been very fortunate so far in that aspect of things.
Fingers crossed for a happy and healthy 9 months!
Friday, October 18, 2013
The Start of Something New... Literally.
Well, I deleted my previous posts from a couple of years ago because I wanted a new slate. I wanted a change. And I certainly got one!!
On Sunday, October 13, 2013 I found out that I am pregnant! I couldn't believe it when I saw the second pink line appear within 30 seconds of peeing on that little stick. :)
We had been actively trying to conceive (TTC) since June 2013. After reading up on everything and talking to my doctor, I knew that it would take a few months at least, maybe even a year if everything went perfectly, to conceive. But every month when the deadly red decided to show her face, I couldn't help but get depressed that we hadn't made a baby. But this month I just had a feeling that this would be it. I told myself that I wouldn't take a home pregnancy test until I missed my period, but I took it 6 days before it was due and got a positive! I just had a strange feeling. My breasts were sore and I was feeling very moody. Almost all the same symptoms as PMS, but I just felt different.
So here we are today, almost a week later, I am 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant, due on June 25, 2013. And I am really hoping I go early or a week late considering my birthday is June 30th!
I haven't told anyone but my immediate family. I probably shouldn't have even told them this early just in case, God forbid, something happens. But I just had to. My mom is my advice giver and someone I rely on to help calm me down after talking to. I told them by sitting in the same room and sending them a picture text of my positive HPT. My dad got it first and kind of stared at it because his phone is so small. Then he looked at me and said "You're pregnant?!?!?!?!?!? CONGRATULATIONS!......Don't tell anyone until 12 weeks though. Oh my God you shouldn't have told me, what if something happens? I can't deal with a miscarriage it'll kill me" and then my mom said "NO WAY! Congratulations!! Hold on a minute" went into the other room, and gave me a few baby items that she had already bought for me! My immediate family and my grandmother are the only ones who knew that we were even TTC. Not to sound selfish, but we didn't want to tell anyone because we weren't sure how things were going to go. We didn't want the pressure from others outside of our relationship, especially because we weren't sure if we were both able to have children in general. With so many issues these days with infertility we wanted to go about it in our own way and see what happened.
I am very excited and find myself constantly thinking about it. I have always, always, always dreamed of being a mother and now it's time for that dream to become a reality! I can't wait to feel our baby move and have a baby bump, I can't wait for labor (I know that sounds crazy), and I can't wait to hold our miracle in my arms for the first time. I just don't know how I'll be able to wait 36 more weeks!
I don't have many symptoms other than really sore breasts, little cramping, and a lot of gas (TMI). I luckily don't have too much nausea right now, only after I eat and then it subsides quickly.
I am also very happy to have read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" a few months ago to know what I can and cannot eat, and what I can and shouldn't do while pregnant. I almost cleaned the cat box until I remembered reading that it's a big no no for women who are expecting.
I called the doctor on Tuesday morning to make an appointment and my first ultrasound is on Tuesday, November 26, 2013. I can't wait!
I am just so happy, and even my mood swings seem to go in a more positive direction. Instead of being a crazed lunatic, I am just overly happy :)
On Sunday, October 13, 2013 I found out that I am pregnant! I couldn't believe it when I saw the second pink line appear within 30 seconds of peeing on that little stick. :)
We had been actively trying to conceive (TTC) since June 2013. After reading up on everything and talking to my doctor, I knew that it would take a few months at least, maybe even a year if everything went perfectly, to conceive. But every month when the deadly red decided to show her face, I couldn't help but get depressed that we hadn't made a baby. But this month I just had a feeling that this would be it. I told myself that I wouldn't take a home pregnancy test until I missed my period, but I took it 6 days before it was due and got a positive! I just had a strange feeling. My breasts were sore and I was feeling very moody. Almost all the same symptoms as PMS, but I just felt different.
So here we are today, almost a week later, I am 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant, due on June 25, 2013. And I am really hoping I go early or a week late considering my birthday is June 30th!
I haven't told anyone but my immediate family. I probably shouldn't have even told them this early just in case, God forbid, something happens. But I just had to. My mom is my advice giver and someone I rely on to help calm me down after talking to. I told them by sitting in the same room and sending them a picture text of my positive HPT. My dad got it first and kind of stared at it because his phone is so small. Then he looked at me and said "You're pregnant?!?!?!?!?!? CONGRATULATIONS!......Don't tell anyone until 12 weeks though. Oh my God you shouldn't have told me, what if something happens? I can't deal with a miscarriage it'll kill me" and then my mom said "NO WAY! Congratulations!! Hold on a minute" went into the other room, and gave me a few baby items that she had already bought for me! My immediate family and my grandmother are the only ones who knew that we were even TTC. Not to sound selfish, but we didn't want to tell anyone because we weren't sure how things were going to go. We didn't want the pressure from others outside of our relationship, especially because we weren't sure if we were both able to have children in general. With so many issues these days with infertility we wanted to go about it in our own way and see what happened.
I am very excited and find myself constantly thinking about it. I have always, always, always dreamed of being a mother and now it's time for that dream to become a reality! I can't wait to feel our baby move and have a baby bump, I can't wait for labor (I know that sounds crazy), and I can't wait to hold our miracle in my arms for the first time. I just don't know how I'll be able to wait 36 more weeks!
I don't have many symptoms other than really sore breasts, little cramping, and a lot of gas (TMI). I luckily don't have too much nausea right now, only after I eat and then it subsides quickly.
I am also very happy to have read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" a few months ago to know what I can and cannot eat, and what I can and shouldn't do while pregnant. I almost cleaned the cat box until I remembered reading that it's a big no no for women who are expecting.
I called the doctor on Tuesday morning to make an appointment and my first ultrasound is on Tuesday, November 26, 2013. I can't wait!
I am just so happy, and even my mood swings seem to go in a more positive direction. Instead of being a crazed lunatic, I am just overly happy :)
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